Threats of Divorce: Couples Therapy in Roseville, CA
When your partner threatens to divorce, it doesn't usually mean they actually want to leave the relationship.
Threats of divorce are usually nothing more than an attempt to control each other.
If you're receiving the threat, "I'm going to leave you," it's a signal that you need to be willing to let your partner go if that's really what they want. The harder you try to hold on to them, the more it will tempt them to pull away.
If you were the one making the threat, be aware that threats of divorce are not an effective way to get your partner to change their ways.
What's Really Happening When Someone Threatens to Leave
When we were young, the best way to get taken care of was to make a fuss.
As adults, we still have that instinct, and that's what we are doing when we threaten divorce.
The key to moving past this is to be willing to be responsible for your own distress instead of trying to get your partner to fix it for you.
Where to Start
If you're caught in this pattern, the first step is understanding what's actually happening. The threat isn't the problem. It's a symptom. You've lost the ability to manage conflict without reaching for the ultimate weapon.
I offer a free first session to talk about your situation, understand the anxiety driving the threats, and explore what real change looks like.
Request your free first session here or call 916-292-8920. I work with couples in my Roseville office and via telehealth.
Books:
James M. Christensen, LMFT Couples Therapy in Roseville, CA 916-292-8920
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