Dr. David Schnarch’s
Crucible Therapy

Dr. David Schnarch developed Crucible Therapy over several decades to help couples overcome the most difficult relationship challenges. Dr. Schnarch loved working with couples and cared deeply about his clients. He worked tirelessly to refine his methods and to help other clinicians learn to treat difficult couples with the same kind of success that he enjoyed.

Action, not words

Traditional marriage therapy focuses on sharing feelings, calming down, and saying the right words. Crucible Therapy goes deeper, getting right to the root of relationship problems. Crucible Therapy will help you figure out what went wrong in your relationship, and what you can do about it. You will see yourself and your partner more clearly, and you will leave each session knowing what you can do to improve your relationship. Crucible therapy is designed to challenge you, encourage you, and help you create the relationship of your dreams. 

Personal Power and Responsibility

Crucible Therapy focuses on each person’s unilateral ability to change relationship dynamics. You’re responsible for your own feelings and behavior, and you have more power than you know. Most relationship behavior is responsive — you respond to your partner, and your partner responds to you. When you take a step forward into proactive behavior, you change the environment your partner is responding to, and their behavior will probably change as a result. 

Personal Growth and Development

Personal growth is the only thing standing between you and a better relationship. Your brain is optimized for surviving childhood, not for thriving as an adult. Crucible Therapy helps your brain adapt so that you can have connection and freedom at the same time. The process of rewiring your brain is difficult, but the payoff is immense. It will change your life, and the lives of your children. 

Dealing with Difficult Dynamics

Crucible therapy really shines when confronted with the most difficult relationship dynamics:  narcissism, emotional abuse, infidelity, deception, and extreme avoidant attachment. In crucible therapy we point out these dynamics when they show up in session, dragging harmful behavioral patterns out of the shadows and into the light. 

Creating Collaborative Conflict

Your relationship probably needs more conflict, not less. Crucible Therapy will teach you the art of collaborative conflict:  how to disagree with each other in friendly and fruitful ways. You want to hold onto yourself and belong to your partner at the same time, and collaborative conflict is the only way to do that. 

Balancing your Brain

Dr. Schnarch believed that successful couples therapy demands activation and engagement of both sides of the brain. It's easy for us to get stuck in our problem-solving left brains, neglecting the power of the right brain, where our ability to really connect with each other resides. In his later years, Dr. Schnarch returned repeatedly to the theme of engaging the right brain's ability to see the whole picture, to understand what is actually happening, and to make changes that have a positive impact on the relationship.

Crucible Therapy Training

Crucible therapy training is about becoming a better person and a stronger clinician, not about learning tools or techniques. My training as a Crucible therapist has focused on helping me overcome weaknesses in my own mind, helping me become more kind, more considerate, more compassionate, and more able to stand up to manipulative clients without getting combative.

Dr. David Schnarch believed that the single most important factor in determining how successful a clinician would be was the development of what he called the person of the therapist. My training as a Crucible therapist has helped me overcome personal weaknesses that I can trace all the way back to my childhood. Specifically, I have learned to care much more about myself, my family members, and my clients. I have learned to slow down and pay attention to what is the most important thing going on at any moment. I have learned to handle conflict in a collaborative way, without giving up or giving in, and also without getting combative.

Since Dr. Schnarch's death, a small team of skilled clinicians have continued his life work of training therapists to help couples create better relationships. I have worked extensively with three Crucible trainers: Lacy Stump, Natalia Westera, and Barbara Fairfield.