Crucible Therapy

Dr. David Schnarch’s Crucible Therapy is less well-known than other approaches, but it has helped me save my own marriage and help hundreds of other couples.

Action, not words
Traditional marriage therapy focuses on sharing feelings, calming down, and saying the right words. Crucible Therapy goes deeper, getting right to the root of relationship problems. Crucible Therapy will help you figure out what went wrong in your relationship, and what you can do about it. You will see yourself and your partner more clearly, and you will leave each session knowing what you can do to improve your relationship. Crucible therapy is designed to challenge you, encourage you, and help you create the relationship of your dreams. 

Personal Power and Responsibility
Crucible Therapy focuses on each person’s unilateral ability to change relationship dynamics. You’re responsible for your own feelings and behavior, and you have more power than you know. Most relationship behavior is responsive — you respond to your partner, and your partner responds to you. When you take a step forward into proactive behavior, you change the environment your partner is responding to, and their behavior will probably change as a result. 

Growth and Development
Personal growth is the only thing standing between you and a better relationship. Your brain is optimized for surviving childhood, not for thriving in an adult relationship. Crucible Therapy helps your brain adapt so that you can have connection and freedom at the same time. The process of rewiring your brain is difficult, but the payoff is immense. It will change your life, and the lives of your children. 

Dealing with Difficult Dynamics
Crucible therapy really shines when confronted with the most difficult relationship dynamics:  narcissism, emotional abuse, infidelity, deception, and extreme avoidant attachment. In crucible therapy we point out these dynamics when they show up in session, dragging harmful behavioral patterns out of the shadows and into the light. 

Creating Collaborative Conflict
Your relationship probably needs more conflict, not less. Crucible Therapy will teach you the art of collaborative conflict:  how to disagree with each other in friendly and fruitful ways. You want to hold onto yourself and belong to your partner at the same time, and collaborative conflict is the only way to do that. 

Crucible Therapy Training
The International Crucible Therapy Education Center carries on the late Dr. David Schnarch’s work of training therapists to help couples overcome the most difficult relationship challenges.