What is Intimacy?

Intimacy is Into-Me-You-See.

You can create intimacy in your relationship by revealing your true self to your partner without needing their validation.

True intimacy requires self-acceptance, which is your ability to accept yourself the way you are right now.

If you can't accept yourself the way you are, you will constantly find yourself reaching for your partner's acceptance and reassurance.

One way you will do that is by pretending to be better than you really are.

That pretending destroys intimacy.

When you imagine that you're unacceptable the way you are, you pretend to be someone else to try to be accepted, but that just reinforces the idea that you're not acceptable the way you are.

Intimacy is often uncomfortable and anxiety provoking.

The thing we call intimacy is often just external validation or reassurance.

Intimacy is to allow yourself to be fully known. You have to accept yourself to a certain extent before you'll be able to do that. Your partner can help, but most of the work will be yours.