Sex, Money, Parenting, and the In-Laws

These are the four that tear couples apart:

1. Sex

2. Money

3. Parenting

4. The in-laws

The first three are all issues where compromise is difficult, and where each partner has a lot of power to affect the other in a negative way. The fourth happens because we’re more blind to our own parents than we are to our partner’s parents.

The key to resolving the “big four” is personal growth. The uncomfortable truth is that you already have the relationship you are capable of having, and you have to grow yourself up if you want a better relationship.

We all want to believe that it’s the other person’s fault, but the reality is that we all partner up at our own level of personal development, and we stay evenly matched throughout a relationship.

When you look at your partner and see significant emotional immaturity, it’s best to remember that there are different, but equivalent, immaturities on your side of the relationship.

Relationship therapy can help you resolve these immaturities. When you grow yourself up, your partner is likely to follow. You might even find that your own immaturity has been enabling and encouraging your partner to be immature as well.

At Roseville Couples Counseling I offer one free session of marriage therapy to any couple who wants to start improving their relationship. Learn more at https://jamesmchristensen.com