How to Raise a Narcissist in Four Easy Steps
Do you want your kid to be president? Start by helping them develop these nine narcissistic traits:
A grandiose sense of self-importance
Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
A belief that they are unique and special
A Need for excessive admiration
A sense of entitlement
A knack for manipulation
A lack of empathy
Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of them
Arrogance
It’s super hard to outgrow narcissism, so your child will probably be a narcissist for life. This will definitely destroy their personal life, but it might help them excel in their chosen profession.
It takes considerable effort to successfully raise a narcissist. Be sure to include these four steps in your parenting plan:
Parenting Step 1: Crush your child’s authentic sense of self as soon as it starts to emerge
Narcissism develops as a defensive mechanism when a child feels unloved, unwanted, and unworthy. When you see your child starting to develop a healthy sense of self, squash it with these time-honored parenting strategies:
Tell them they are lazy, dishonest, and incompetent.
Blame and shame them for normal childish behavior
Compare them to to others
Act like you are offended or hurt by their behavior
Withhold attention, affection, and emotional support
Make your family rules arbitrary and lopsided.
When they misbehave, it’s their fault.
When you misbehave, it’s their fault.
When they feel bad, it’s their fault.
When you feel bad, it’s also their fault.
Parenting Step 2: Make your child reliant on you for approval and validation
Emphasize that you’re the only one who sees how smart and capable they are
Defend them when teachers or coaches offer legitimate criticism.
Put them on a pedestal
Use the “tear and repair” cycle build them back up after you tear them down
Make it hard for your child to have healthy friendships and dating relationships.
Parenting Step 3: Model narcissistic behavior
Children learn more from what you do than what you say, so you will need to use your own behavior to show them what narcissism looks like. For example:
Make sure they know that you’re better than everyone else. Use derision, contempt, judgment, and condescension liberally.
Pretend you don’t care what anyone else thinks.
Talk about how your family is better than other families.
Talk about how most people are idiots
Be judgmental and condescending.
Demonstrate these three methods of interpersonal manipulation:
Control your child by withholding love and affection if they don’t do what you want
Control your child by threatening intense emotional responses if they don’t do what you want
Control your child by threatening physical violence if they don’t do what you want
Parenting Step 4: Don’t give up
Keep working even if your child starts developing a solid, authentic sense of self despite your best efforts.
Protect your child from the positive influence of relatives, teachers, and coaches who might be show genuine care, affection, and concern for your child’s wellbeing.
As they get older, provide even more false validation to keep their ego inflated. Constantly remind them that no one else will ever love them as much as you do.
Conclusion: if this was how you were raised, give me a call. I help couples overcome narcissism, deception, gaslighting, and manipulation.
