Living at the Bottom of the Ocean

Close your eyes and imagine the coral reef scene from “Finding Nemo.” Picture the fish flitting about, the sun filtering down through the waves, and the bright colors everywhere. 

Now, picture the very different scene at the bottom of the ocean. There is no sunlight, and everything is covered in cold, inky blackness. The fish there have no color, instead they have huge, razor-sharp teeth, and some of them even have lanterns sprouting out of their foreheads. The only rule at the bottom of the ocean is kill or be killed. There is no compassion, courage, or kindness. 

When you get into an argument with your partner, your brain goes to the bottom of the ocean. You become incapable of courage, kindness, and reason; and your brain can think of only one thing:  I have to win. 

What you are experiencing is called a brain regression. Your brain loses its normal functioning ability and goes into survival mode. That would be great if you were actually in a survival situation, but you’re not. 

You started out as a fun, colorful fish at the top of the ocean, and then you became a monster fish at the bottom of the ocean. Your best bet is to swim for the surface. It might help to say to yourself “I’m regressed.” I also like to move my arms like I’m swimming. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s less ridiculous than how I behave when I’m regressed. 

Want to learn more about fixing regression? Read this free PDF book by Dr. David Schnarch.