How is Crucible Therapy Different?

Crucible therapy is different because Crucible training is different.

Traditional therapy training focuses on learning techniques and procedures. Crucible training focuses on helping the therapist become a better person. 

We call this focus “the person of the therapist,” and it is the defining difference between the Crucible approach and all of the other therapeutic models I’ve encounterered. 

In Crucible therapy, the therapist is responsible for clearly seeing, and then helping clients change, the problems in their relationship. 

Crucible training is tightly focused on helping therapists progress on the path of personal growth. This allows those therapists to turn around and help their clients do the same thing. 

Learning techniques and patterns helps a bit, but in the end it’s the therapist’s personal growth that makes the difference.

Traditioinal couples therapy approaches focus on learning techniques and patterns that can help improve relationships. Things like reflective listening and “I” statements. These patterns help us grow by nudging us away from just doing or saying whatever we feel. They encourage us to think before we talk, and to reach for the best in ourselves and the best in our partners. 

I call this “indirect growth” because the growth comes as a side effect of following the procedure. 

We don’t use these patterns in Crucible Therapy because we talk directly about what is going wrong in the relationship. The therapist offers a “third view” that provides each person with a new way of seeing what they’re doing and why they’re doing it.