How to Calm your Inner Critic

Everyone has an inner critic, that voice in your head that says you’re just not good enough, you need to try harder, focus more, and get more done. We learn to talk to ourselves this way in inner adolescence, when we’re making the transition from being told what to do all the time to making our own decisions about what to do.

The development of an inner critic is an important step in human development, but it’s not the final step on the journey. It’s important to grow out of constantly criticizing yourself, and the best way to do that is to learn self-compassion.

When I hear a critical voice in my own head, I respond by saying “I hear you, little guy” because the part of me that criticizes that way is actually very young and just wants to be loved. There is a part of me that’s capable of providing the kind of love and support my younger self yearned for, and what I need to do is to help those to parts of my brain connect with each other.