Videos

Elaine & Deshawn, part 1

Anxious-Avoidant

She calls him 20 times a day and he doesn't pick up. Catherine and I talk about what she's really asking for, and why the fix starts with calming your own anxiety before you reach for your partner.

Elaine & Deshawn, part 2

Pursue / Withdraw

He pulls back because he doesn't want to reward the way she treats him. They're both trying to control each other, and the quality of a relationship comes down to how you handle yourself when you don't get what you want.

Tashira & Dru

Condescension

He hands her a pile of papers with a smile and calls it helping. We break down what that move really says, and how to bring up one complaint at a time instead of jabbing back.

Annie & Mau, part 4

Gaslighting

Mau gets up and walks around during the session, then acts like it's normal. We talk about what gaslighting looks like up close, and how Annie could hold her own line instead of arguing over what's real.

Kristi & Brock

Infidelity

After Kristi's affair, they're moving back in together and arguing about a Murphy bed. Underneath it is the question every couple faces: how do I keep my own freedom without giving up the connection?

Rod & Alison

Verbal Abuse

Divorce gets threatened often in this marriage. Catherine and I talk about why constant threats are usually about leverage, not leaving, and why each of them needs to watch their impact on the other.

Sean & Erica, part 1

Infidelity

Sean cheated and kept it from Erica, and now he frames it as no harm, no foul. I walk through how he reshapes the story, and why couples therapy is for changing behavior, not just talking about feelings.

Sean & Erica, part 2

Cheating

Sean keeps turning the conversation to Erica's anger instead of his own behavior. By the end they're both talking about their own growth, and there's a lot more warmth between them.

Boris & Jessica, part 2

Emotional Abuse

Boris keeps asking Jessica to fix his distress, then says nothing she does helps. More sympathy from her isn't the answer. He has to learn to comfort himself.

Are we all Narcissists?

Catherine and I react to Joe Hudson on narcissism and shame. Calling someone a narcissist is often a way to sort people into good and bad, and if you're dealing with one, taking your own anger seriously matters.