Balance your Brain
Love, dating, and relationships with James Christensen LMFT.
39. How David Schnarch Helped Alex Rodriguez (HBO’s Alex vs. A-Rod)
Alex Rodriguez credits David Schnarch with saving his life. Catherine Roebuck and I discuss episode 3 of HBO's Alex vs. A-Rod and his work with Schnarch.
38. Is there ever a good reason to yell at your kids?
James and Catherine discuss why yelling at kids is harmful except in rare moments of immediate danger, and why parents teach more by example.
37. Taking Off the Mask in Your Marriage
Why revealing the messy stuff in your mind builds trust, how apologies turn into control, and the case for telling your partner about an affair.
36. Healing Trauma with Catherine Roebuck
Catherine Roebuck and James Christensen on how trauma gets stored in the brain, inner child and inner adult work, and healing with your younger self.
35. Don’t Be a Doormat or a Bully
Catherine Roebuck and James Christensen on the persistent drive for autonomy, and how to avoid being a doormat or a bully.
34. Loving on Purpose: A Conversation with Catherine Roebuck
Catherine Roebuck and James Christensen on loving on purpose: why loving from the heart, without waiting to feel it, is an adult task.
33. Relational Life Therapy with Audrey Schoen
Audrey Schoen joins James Christensen to compare Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy with Crucible therapy, and how both differ from Gottman and EFT.
32. How I run my couples therapy practice in Roseville, California
A radio interview recorded at Salem Media in Sacramento about why marriage is hard, how I work with couples, and my practice in Roseville.
31. How to Rebuild Trust after Infidelity
If your partner has cheated, James Christensen explains the three parts of rebuilding trust, which he compares to three legs of a stool.
30. A Therapist’s Escape from Narcissism
James Christensen describes how he came to see himself as narcissistic, what narcissism protects against, and how he escaped it.
29. The Buddhist Approach to Attachment Panic
Catherine Roebuck joins James Christensen to discuss Chapter 2 of Bruce Tift’s Already Free and the Buddhist approach to attachment panic.
28. Why You Don’t Feel Safe: Bruce Tift’s Already Free, Chapter 1
Catherine Roebuck joins James Christensen to discuss Chapter 1 of Bruce Tift’s Already Free: most of us live in the present as if it were the past.
27. Powerful Parenting with Aron and Kristin
James Christensen talks with therapists Aron Carlson and Kristin Areglado Hurley about the parenting workshop they have been developing.
26. Crucible Therapy with Dr. Dave Jenkins
Dr. Dave Jenkins shares his memories of Dr. David Schnarch and how he came to Crucible therapy, in conversation with James Christensen.
25. Making Moves in your Marriage with Jackie Aston
James Christensen talks with Jackie Aston, a licensed psychotherapist and founder of Clarity and Growth Therapy, about making moves in your marriage.
24. Calm the heck down with Dan Purcell
Calm the heck down: James Christensen talks with Dan Purcell, sex and intimacy coach and co-founder of Get Your Marriage On!
23. Introduction to Crucible Therapy with Catherine Roebuck
Catherine Roebuck explains why it is called Crucible therapy: your marriage is the container, and the pressure of long-term love is the heat.
22. Healthy Male Sexuality with Heather Matthews
Heather Matthews joins me to talk about healthy male sexuality.
21. Regression and Revisualization
Catherine Roebuck and James Christensen explain regression, a temporary drop in brain performance under high anxiety, and revisualization.
20. Parental Blindness: Why We Can’t See Our Parents Clearly
Catherine Roebuck joins James Christensen to talk about parental blindness, why people avoid looking at their parents clearly, and how to fix it.
19. Moving from Anxious Attachment to Secure Attachment
Catherine Roebuck lays out how to move from anxious attachment toward secure attachment, with yourself and with your partner.
18. Getting Clear on your Parents
Catherine Roebuck and I talk about why seeing your parents clearly is so hard, and why it matters for your own life and marriage.
17. How to Function Better in Your Marriage
Catherine Roebuck and James Christensen on what improved functioning looks like: more peace, more relaxed in your own skin, and less guarded.
16. Infidelity: The Coldplay Affair
Catherine Roebuck and James Christensen on the Coldplay concert affair, and advice for spouses facing the public humiliation of being cheated on.
15. Courageous Love
Catherine Roebuck and James Christensen on courageous love: why mature love takes courage, and why expecting absolute safety in love is childlike.
14. Live Your Way to a Better Marriage with Dr. Corey Allan
Dr. Corey Allan from Sexy Marriage Radio joins me to talk about David Schnarch, marriage, and real talk about relationships.
13. The Power of Authenticity with Steve Thatcher
James Christensen talks with Steve Thatcher about the power of authenticity.
12. Narcissism 101
Why calling someone a narcissist misses the point, and how judging someone as narcissistic can itself be hypocritical.
11. How Your Right Brain Can Heal Your Relationship
Your right brain is capable of helping you dramatically improve the quality of your relationship.
10. Non-Violent Communication for Couples With Daniel Robertson
Relationship Coach Daniel Robertson joins me to talk about balancing your brain and nonviolent communication for couples.
9. Why Your Left Brain Can’t Fix Your Relationship
Your left brain doesn't understand people, so it can't solve relationship problems. Catherine Roebuck and I talk about getting your right brain involved.
8. Becoming More Alive
Catherine Roebuck and I talk about breaking free from childhood habits that hold back real self-expression, with tools like men's groups and improv.
7. Four Ways to Communicate Better with Your Partner
Ways to improve communication in your relationship: pause before you react, state your intention, make requests instead of complaints, reveal instead of convince, and more.
6. 10 Parenting Tips from a Couples Therapist
10 parenting tips from James Christensen
5. Infidelity Is a Symptom, Not the Cause
Catherine Roebuck and James Christensen on infidelity as a symptom rather than the cause, trusting yourself over your partner, and mind mapping.
4. How to Heal your Brain with Catherine Roebuck
Relationship Coach Catherine Roebuck joins me to discuss Dr. David Schnarch’s last book, Living at the Bottom of the Ocean.
3. Chad Fraga on Relationship Growth
Chad Fraga and I discuss a question from r/marriage: emotional flashbacks, moving past emotional infidelity, and the impact of PTSD on a relationship.
2. Collaborative Conflict in Relationships
Chad Fraga and I read an "Am I the asshole?" post about a husband's eating habits and talk about how couples can handle conflict collaboratively.
1. Sadism in Relationships with Chad Fraga LMFT
Chad Fraga and I talk about David Schnarch's idea that most marriages include some sadistic behavior on both sides, and why admitting it is where change starts.