Somatic Acceptance
Somatic acceptance is the practice of noticing, accepting, and feeling kindness toward the unpleasant physical sensations that accompany intense emotions. By noticing the physical component of intense emotions, we can increase our emotional capacity and our ability to tolerate intimacy. The practice of somatic acceptance has helped many of my clients let go of their need to “do something” about intense emotions.
Somatic Acceptance has three parts:
See
Accept
Love
I see you
The first step is to “see” or notice what is happening in your body. Intense emotions are usually felt in the chest or stomach. Anxiety might feel like tightness in the chest, or fluttering in the stomach. Focus on the physical part of your emotions.
I accept you
Imagine feeling the physical part of your emotion for several hours in a row? Your first answer is probably a resounding no, but if you think about it you will realize that you can actually handle feeling that way for a long time. The sensations feel unmanageable, but they’re not.
We underestimate our ability to handle intense emotions because when we were children, we had a much lower tolerance for that kind of intensity. We learned to get rid of intense sensations by checking out, distracting ourselves, throwing a fit, or seeking comfort from someone else. Adults have ten times more emotional capacity than children, but we still relate to intense emotions as if they were completely overwhelming. The solution is to practice feeling hard feelings, and realizing that you can, in fact, feel what your body needs to feel.
I love you
Imagine caring for a small, frightened animal. You would hold it with gentle, loving kindness. Now imagine directing that same energy to the place in your body where you feel emotional discomfort. This feels counterintuitive, but it is the best way to work with emotional distress.
Why this works
Imagine two parts of your brain: one focused on survival, and one interested in learning and growth. When you follow this protocol, you shift energy from the survival brain to the growth and learning brain. Each part of the protocol helps activate the growth and learning brain, while helping to calm the survival brain.
