About Me
My wife and I married two days after I commissioned into the Air Force in 2001, and we were on our way to pilot training when the towers fell on September 11th. We raised four children in seven states, struggling to manage the demands of marriage, parenting, and my military career.

Our marriage suffered during my years in the Air Force. Neither of us knew why we we felt so unsafe around each other, or why it was so hard to treat each other well. Eventually I started reading everything I could find about mental health and relationship repair. At first I thought everything was my wife’s fault, but then I learned that my own anxiety, insecurity, and condescension were taking a terrible toll on our marriage. When I returned home we started our long journey to lasting love.

Our Journey together
My wife and I have spent thousands of hours learning about relationship repair and reconciliation. We learned that our outdated childhood survival instincts were making our marriage miserable, which is why neither of us felt safe when we were around each other. We were constantly triggered, walking on eggshells, avoiding deep conversations, and generally making each other miserable. We eventually learned to reach for the best in each other, instead of constantly enabling and feeding into each other’s weaknesses.

I also learned that relationship repair is not a process of “fixing my partner.” I was blind to my own faults and weaknesses, and always wanted to focus on what my wife needed to change. I was blessed to work with insightful counselors who called me out on what I was doing, and gave me the gift of seeing my own role in our unhappy marriage.

My wife and I still find marriage and parenting incredibly challenging, but it is now a challenge we face together. We feel safe with each other, and we are able to support our children in ways we never could before. We are deeply grateful to the therapists and teachers who have helped us move from anger and resentment to love and appreciation.

My Approach
As a counselor, I’m calm, compassionate, and focused on creating change. Relationships repair is about changing behavior, not words, so there is a deliberate focus on what is actually happening in your relationship and in the therapy session. I know what it feels like to be trapped in a difficult marriage, and I know there is a way to create hope, healing, and reconciliation.

Transformational Couples Counseling
My first priority is to help you feel safe in your relationship. We will also work on communication, collaboration, and healthy conflict. You will leave every session challenged and inspired, with a clear sense of what you need to do to improve your relationship.

My training and education:

• Masters in Psychology from the Western Institute for Social Research, 2021

• EMDR Trauma Therapy with Dr. Philip Manfield, 2022

• Accelerated Resolution Trauma Therapy with Cathy Long, 2022

• Gottman Couples Therapy Level 1 and Level 2, 2022

• Generative Trance Therapy with Dr. Steve Gilligan, 2023

• Crucible Neurobiological Therapy with Natalie Westera and Lacy Stump, 2024