Validation is the sense that you’re good enough and it’s ok for you to be here. Understanding validation is the key to understanding sex, relationships, and human interaction in general. The key to creating a long-lasting sexual relationship is to make the switch from childhood validation (external referencing) to adult validation (internal referencing).

Once you have identified what you feel in your body, practice directing a string of acceptance, kindness, and love to that uncomfortable sensation. This is a counter-instinctive practice because we learned early in childhood to distract, dissociate, or tune out uncomfortable sensations in the body. As adults, our capacity for feeling intense sensations is much greater than what it was when we were children, but we still distract and dissociate because that is what we are used to doing.